This post is a part of Five Minute Friday, a writing flash mob that happens every week when writers are prompted by a single word to write for 5 minutes without any major editing. Just raw thoughts and emotions. You can find out more and/or join the party here.
I couldn’t find her. No matter where I looked, she wasn’t there anymore. Used to be when she walked through a room people would stop and stare after her. It wasn’t because she was super model beautiful, she wasn’t, it was because she held a confidence that even she didn’t know she possessed until she lost it. She used to bubble over with laughter. She was vibrant and alive and she knew what it meant to shine. I don’t know when it happened, but one day I looked in the mirror and I couldn’t find her there anymore. The person who replaced her was bitter and ugly and angry and just an awful person. There was no laughter anymore. You see, I had let someone chip away at who I was. I let him become the voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough, among other things. On a bad day, when I’m in just the right kind of down mood, I can still hear that voice, and I have to fight to silence it.
The road from broken to not so broken is a long one. It was a slow journey from there to here. That girl in the mirror? I still can’t find her. I see glimpses of her every now and again, but she was never who I was meant to stay. She was just one stop along the journey to who God made me to be.
Godspeed,
Mollie <3
So happy to meet you! I’m your nearest neighbor in this week’s Five Minute Friday and I love your story— all of us have been in that same story at times. Peace and hope!
Leah recently posted…five minute friday: find
Thank you Leah!
” I see glimpses of her every now and again, but she was never who I was meant to stay.” <—Love, love, love this! I like that you have found God's glory in who you are now. I saw a girl with laughter and love earlier this month enter into my life as a new friend in a new place. I'm hoping that we each can look in the mirror and see the light and not the dark! How harsh our world and some people (even we) can be! But God, He finds us when we see Him in who we are meant to stay! <3, Jenn
Jennifer Cook (@graceglimmers) recently posted…Find Me As I Am
Thank you Jenn! <3 Sometimes it can be hard to push the darkness out, but I think that's where God steps in with grace to cover the dark spots!
OH Yes it is sweet Molly! the road from broken long that is. Sometimes those cracks still shine through. But what a wonderful Savior we serve. He LOVES those cracks too! Parked at the 40 spot today.
Thank you Christy! I am thankful for the road, dark spots and all, that brought me to where I stand now. 🙂
Mollie, wow! Thank you for sharing your vulnerability and your story.
Thank you Tara!
I don’t know who that girl was, but I am so extremely blessed to have the girl that you see in the mirror today!
Aww, thank you honey!