I have a never ending stream of words running through my head. It consists of all the things I want to tell my ex. All the different ways I feel and the things I don’t understand. The ways I think we can work things out and the future I can still see for us. It’s been rolling around in there since the day he left me. The words just keep coming no matter how many times I’ve let them out over the last few months. It’s a self refreshing stream that never ends and never runs dry.
It’s been just over four months since the break up. I have come to realize in this time that there is a right way and a wrong way to purge the words from rolling around in my head when they get overwhelming. For a good while I just told him everything I thought. Every time I thought it. I told him on the phone, in person, or via email or text. I told him. For the most part he knows everything I’ve been thinking. That would be the wrong way. Somewhere along this very long road it was brought to my attention that I’ve been selfish in continually pouring out all of my feelings onto him. I wasn’t taking into account how he felt about having to constantly hear my crying about how much I miss him and how I want to get back together. I was in effect badgering him. That doesn’t accomplish anything. I didn’t feel any better after telling him everything and I would wager that he just got increasingly frustrated with it.
So, I have this little notebook full of letters I’ve written to the guy I love. No one will ever see it, but it fills my need to dump out all the words I have rolling around in my head. Whenever they get too overwhelming I put pen to paper and pour them out onto the page. It’s a release of sorts. But then I am a writer by nature.
If writing doesn’t work for you, grab a friend to talk to instead. Pour out all of your feelings. Just don’t pour them out onto your ex. Hopefully this will get to you in time so that you can handle your overflow of words a little more gracefully than I have. Honestly, the simple truth is he doesn’t care about my feelings. He made his decision. Nothing I had to say made any difference and really after a few days he knew most everything I had to say. Save yourself the embarrassment. Clear your head the right way.
Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.