There are no tried and true methods to get you through the heart ache. No measured out amount of time that it takes to heal. No step by step process that you can check off one by one. Everyone deals with heart break differently. And so the process is different for everyone. Healing from a broken heart is amazingly similar to going through the stages of grief.
Denial = Still calling every day.
Anger = Usually at the ex.
Bargaining = Begging him to come back.
Depression = Sleeping all day and the inclination to become a hermit.
Acceptance = Full Healing
Let me just say healing from a broken heart is not a one way road. You will go back and forth between the first four stages, sometimes experiencing more than one at a time, before you finally get to the end of the road where being fully healed and acceptance are waiting.
Setbacks will happen. That’s ok. It’s just the way it goes it seems. The best way to deal with a setback is to be prepared for it in advance. Make a plan to shift your focus. Have a list of friends who you can call to pray for you or who will just listen. Have some activities lined up that will distract you. Pick out some music that you love to listen to. Here is one of the songs that has helped to get me through this time. I hope you find some comfort in the message that God has it all under control.
So, what do I do when I say decide it would be a good idea to watch my proposal video….3 times. Yep, that happened last night. I just wanted to see him when he loved me again. After the initial wave of tears subsided I decided to go catch up on the sermons I missed at church the last couple weeks. Oh, they were good! If you’re interested in learning about God’s favor you can watch those sermons here.
And when I walked past my calendar this morning and remembered that today is the birthday of one of his family members? I sat down for a minute and said a special birthday blessings prayer for her. Then I went on with my day. That one made me want to call him. Still fighting the urge. Oh, and in the middle of one of these setbacks is usually the time that the devil will make an additional attack, like a well timed fight with your sister. Which then leaves me wanting to talk to him more. He is the person I have been closest to for the last year and a half. He’s always the one I talked to about these things. And now it’s time to find a distraction for that lonely feeling that just crept in. Thankfully it’s time to get dinner done and then it will be bedtime for the kiddos. I am a work in progress.
Setbacks happen. Don’t be too hard on yourself when they come around. Whether they come on suddenly and without warning like a sudden bought of crying or because of something you did. Be kind to yourself. The human heart is fragile and resilient all at the same time. You can feel unbearable pain at the same time as you are growing stronger.
Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.