It can be incredibly easy to focus on how you’re feeling and what you’ve lost with the ending of a relationship. It can be easy to be consumed by those feelings. So much so that you loose sight of everything else. Of what’s really important. Not to say that your feelings aren’t important, because they are, but they’re temporary. Even if you never loose the love you have for the person that left you, eventually the pain with ease. The tears will stop flowing and you’ll begin to forget what it feels like to be in constant pain.
Instead I think you should focus on what you gained from the relationship. You can’t be so close to someone that you are planning to spend your life with them and walk away from that relationship unchanged. If they truly touched your heart there is something good to take from your time with them. No matter how you feel right now. It is the things that changed you that will live on long after the pain has died away.
In the early days he showed me what it was to be truly adored.
He taught me the importance of scripture memory and how to go about it.
With him I learned what it means to love someone unconditionally. That loving someone isn’t based on how they act towards you and what they do, but is a decision that you make every day.
Watching him I learned what it looks like to really love people of all kinds. What it means to love the people the world tends to discount, the homeless, inmates, and former inmates. I used to love watching him just love on people.
Through him I learned that I tend to be selfish. (I know that doesn’t sound like a good thing, but it is. I have been working on correcting that since I realized it.)
Through the pain of loosing him I have learned that I am stronger than I think I am. (People in my life have been telling me that I am for the last few months anyway.)
These are just a few of the things I will keep with me as the pain of loss subsides. These are the things that will help me grow as I walk through this life. There are other things, and probably some things that I haven’t realized yet, that have changed me. But, you can’t blend two lives and walk away from that relationship unchanged in some way. What things will you take with you from a lost relationship?
Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.