My world has run on pure chaos pretty much since I had kids. Honestly it never really worked. I stay stressed out and the kids pretty much run wild. Right now as I’m walking through this season of heartache it works even less. I am unfocused and distracted. Structure isn’t just for the kids. I need it too. I need something to focus on to remove my focus from my aching heart. So I made a plan.
Here is my plan:
My goal is to get up between 5:30 and 6:00 in the morning. I am not a morning person, so I know that I need a little time alone to wake and get ready for the loudness that is the kids the cat and the dog in the mornings. I need a little time to spend with God before the da gets away with me. I tend to take the computer to bed with me and watch tv until I fall asleep. That makes for a grumpy mommy in the morning. So, my first rule is just for me. No more watching tv in bed. This one is going to be hard for me.
I want to spend more time reading the Bible with my boys. They love AWANAS on Wed. nights and Lucas gets so excited about the scriptures he’s able to memorize. So I want to start small and read a Psalm with them at breakfast. We usually read Bible stories at night before bed already.
At dinner time we sit at the table together. Sometimes I let them watch tv shows on my computer at the table. Sometimes I don’t. I want to limit my own personal distractions at dinner, so every night at 6:00 I plug up my phone to charge in my bedroom. That takes away the pull on emails coming in or social media alerts or whatever else pops up on my screen. I am able to focus in on spending time with my boys.
Last, the electronics get turned off for the night at 7:00. (I of course get mine back after the kids are in bed. LOL.) We watch tv together or read books. Just spend some time at the end of the day together. At 7:30 they start getting ready for bed. Usually if I make them start heading that way at 7:30 they are actually in bed by 8:00 when bedtime really is.
That’s it. Just a few small manageable changes to start with. A little bit of structure added in to pull my focus off of the feelings going on inside of me and refocus my attention on what’s going on around me. Just a little bit of scheduled structure to reduce the stress in my household. Maybe your world could use a little bit of structure too? I encourage you, if you are going to make some changes, to add in just a few small changes to start with. When you have those down add in some others if you want. Making changes stick is easiest when you take small manageable steps forward.
I’m going to be really honest right now and say that some days the changes above don’t happen. Sometimes we get off schedule and everything is up in the air. When days like that happen give yourself some grace. Embrace the day you have been handed. Change is almost never immediate. Just try again tomorrow.
Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.