I am so very sorry that you are having to walk down this road. I wish I had some words to say or advice to give that would hurry the pain away for you. I am afraid that you just have to be in it for awhile to get to the other side of it. The greatest advice I can give you is to press hard into God. He is the only one who can truly heal your heart. The Bible and prayer are the gifts He has given you so that you can reach Him when you need Him. I can’t tell you what your journey to healing will look like, or how long it will take. I can tell you my own story of healing and hope that you find some hope and some solace in it.
It has been just over five months since my fiancé walked away from me. In the beginning we tried to be friends, which kept the pain fresh. I kept thinking at any moment he would come back to me, but he didn’t. I cried a lot and everywhere I went. I am pretty sure I have been dehydrated for the past five months. (Be sure to drink lots of water…) The pain was so heavy at times I felt like I wouldn’t survive it. I was sure that I would never feel any better. But here I stand five months later and the pain has faded. I barely feel it at all most days. The tears are less frequent and come more slowly. Every now and again a rush of emotion will hit me, but it comes so much less than it did months ago. One morning I woke up and realized I didn’t cry yesterday (the realization created an instant flow of tears, but they lasted for only a moment.) I still miss him terribly, and every time a text comes into my phone for just a second my heart skips a beat and his name pops into my head. It’s never him, but still every time the text notification goes off I have that feeling. Sometimes I look up from where I sit typing at the kitchen table and half expect to see his face peering at me through the windows in the top of my front door. While the feelings haven’t faded away yet, the tears and the pain have faded. I fully expect that eventually all of the feelings will fade away as well. That is a rough estimation of my story so far.
Let me give you one piece of wisdom I have picked up during this. I have wanted my ex back this whole time. Maybe that’s where you are too? Even if you someday get back together with your ex, you have to heal from this heartache first. I can’t imagine that getting back together with an unhealed heartbreak would yield good results. The feelings of being broken hearted are raw and unreasonable. Taking those emotions into a fresh start would only spell disaster and I’m afraid you would find yourself right back here eventually. You have to deal with all of your emotions and feelings before you can start again with your ex or with someone new. I for one am glad that I had the time I needed to deal with my feelings. If my ex had come back to me like I wanted him too, I really think things would have gone terribly wrong for us simply because my heart was still hurting. You have to give yourself time to heal from the heartbreak.
Remember, this is just a transition period. It won’t last forever. I promise, the pain will fade, the tears will stop, and you will feel better again. If there is anything I can do to help you on this road please don’t hesitate to ask. You can leave me a comment below or message me on my Facebook page. If you need someone to talk to outside of your world I encourage you to check out my resources page. I personally know each of those agencies and highly recommend them.
Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.