I don’t write about parenting or even mention my kids very much because I don’t feel like that’s an area I can speak to with any effectiveness really. For the past 8 1/2 years I have kind of felt like parenting took a skill set I just don’t possess. It just doesn’t come easily to me. I always found that funny because all I wanted when I was younger was to be a wife and a stay at home mom. I feel like I am fairly awful in both of those areas.
I have never really been a go with the flow kind of girl. I almost always get irritated when something messes up my plans for the day, whether I actually have plans or not. It just wrecks my mood for hours if not the whole day. My selfish nature plays a part in that I am sure.
Today I got a call from the school that my youngest was throwing up and needed to be picked up. When I got him home he seemed just fine. Running around chasing the dog and acting silly. About three hours later our day took a serious left turn as he started simultaneously throwing up and having explosive diarrhea. Let me tell you how that can ruin a day and would have had me in a stress induced panic a year ago, ok, maybe make that six months ago. Today however I just calmly leaped into action. Cleaning the toilet in between episodes, drawing a bath with an oatmeal concoction in it to calm him down, because what kid doesn’t love the bath tub. By this time he was bawling because everything hurt. While he was in the bath I unclogged the vacuum where someone had left a necklace on the floor and it got sucked up the day before stopping the vacuum dead in it’s tracks. I had to stop vacuuming to apply lotion to his little back and then finish vacuuming under a disapproving stare because he couldn’t hear the tv. Then he was on the couch watching tv and complaining because he was hungry and didn’t like the choice of toast, crackers or chicken noodle soup I had given him.
Today, a day that would have completely derailed me before, I handled without missing a beat. Days like these happen and that is what mommy is here for right? For a little while I felt like super mom. I kind of feel like that maternal instinct I was sure I didn’t have has started to immerge from wherever inside of me that it has been hiding all these years. Maybe I’m not so terrible at this after all.
Today wasn’t so much about the events that took place as it was about the change I noticed in myself. I realized that my parenting was that one area I was trying to hang onto all the control, even in the midst of all the changes I’ve been going through these last few months. Because I have to be able to handle something on my own right? Not so much as it turns out. The only way to truly win is to let go of all control. In every area. I know it can be scary, but who do you think is better equipped to deal with all the things life has to throw at you, you or God? My bet is on God every time. Without Him I absolutely do not have the skill set it takes to parent effectively, or to handle any other area of my life really. At some point I must have let go of the control, or I was too tired today to try to hold onto it. Either way, today went smoother than any day like it has gone before.
When I let God in just a little bit, He can deal with the storm that is raging inside of me, then giving me the strength and skills to deal with the storm that is raging all around me. @mollieh02
Happy Thanksgiving week to everyone! I hope you all have a great week with family and friends. My babies leave tomorrow to go out of town to visit family with their dad. So it will be me the cat and dog until Sunday. I will of course have lunch with family on Thursday, but that is the extent of my plans for the week. I’m just gonna see what pops up. Love to you all! Be safe as you travel this week.