Hi.

I have written and rewritten this letter over and over again. Erased it all and started fresh.  I could write a thousand things on this page.  In the end the only thing that feels important enough to put in this space is this:

You broke my heart into a thousand pieces.  Thank you.  You were right.  We were headed down a dangerous road that probably would have seen us divorced in the end.  We needed some time apart.  We needed a reset.  Now we’ve had one.

Thank you for being the catalyst I needed to inspire me to change.  Loosing you pushed me right into the arms of the Father.  Forced me to take a good long hard look at who I am and compare that to who I want to be.  To who God made me to be.  I think I’m making strides in the right direction.

I still feel like we got gypped somehow.  We waited all that time to be together.  And a year was all we got?  Seems like we should have had longer.  I want you to be happy.  Truly I do.  I promise you that I still pray for you daily and will continue to do so.  I feel like the last chapter in our story hasn’t been written yet.  Someday we will find our way back to being friends.  That is after all where we started.

 

Always,

Mollie

P.S. I Love You

Some sunflowers to end this series with just because they make me happy!  Every long journey should end with something that makes you smile!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

Dear Friend,

I am so very sorry that you are having to walk down this road.  I wish I had some words to say or advice to give that would hurry the pain away for you.  I am afraid that you just have to be in it for awhile to get to the other side of it.  The greatest advice I can give you is to press hard into God.  He is the only one who can truly heal your heart.  The Bible and prayer are the gifts He has given you so that you can reach Him when you need Him.  I can’t tell you what your journey to healing will look like, or how long it will take.  I can tell you my own story of healing and hope that you find some hope and some solace in it.

It has been just over five months since my fiancé walked away from me.  In the beginning we tried to be friends, which kept the pain fresh.  I kept thinking at any moment he would come back to me, but he didn’t.  I cried a lot and everywhere I went.  I am pretty sure I have been dehydrated for the past five months.  (Be sure to drink lots of water…)  The pain was so heavy at times I felt like I wouldn’t survive it.  I was sure that I would never feel any better.  But here I stand five months later and the pain has faded.  I barely feel it at all most days.  The tears are less frequent and come more slowly.  Every now and again a rush of emotion will hit me, but it comes so much less than it did months ago.  One morning I woke up and realized I didn’t cry yesterday (the realization created an instant flow of tears, but they lasted for only a moment.)  I still miss him terribly, and every time a text comes into my phone for just a second my heart skips a beat and his name pops into my head.  It’s never him, but still every time the text notification goes off I have that feeling.  Sometimes I look up from where I sit typing at the kitchen table and half expect to see his face peering at me through the windows in the top of my front door.  While the feelings haven’t faded away yet, the tears and the pain have faded.  I fully expect that eventually all of the feelings will fade away as well.  That is a rough estimation of my story so far.

Let me give you one piece of wisdom I have picked up during this.  I have wanted my ex back this whole time.  Maybe that’s where you are too?  Even if you someday get back together with your ex, you have to heal from this heartache first.  I can’t imagine that getting back together with an unhealed heartbreak would yield good results.  The feelings of being broken hearted are raw and unreasonable.  Taking those emotions into a fresh start would only spell disaster and I’m afraid you would find yourself right back here eventually.  You have to deal with all of your emotions and feelings before you can start again with your ex or with someone new.  I for one am glad that I had the time I needed to deal with my feelings.  If my ex had come back to me like I wanted him too, I really think things would have gone terribly wrong for us simply because my heart was still hurting.  You have to give yourself time to heal from the heartbreak.

Remember, this is just a transition period.  It won’t last forever.  I promise, the pain will fade, the tears will stop, and you will feel better again.  If there is anything I can do to help you on this road please don’t hesitate to ask.  You can leave me a comment below or message me on my Facebook page.  If you need someone to talk to outside of your world I encourage you to check out my resources page.  I personally know each of those agencies and highly recommend them.

 

 

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

The road to healing is a personal one.  My road may look completely different than yours.  You may have to try a few things before you find the right tools for your journey.

The things listed on these pages are the path that God led me down.  They are the things I needed to do in order to heal and be set up to continue down the road He has set before me.  Some of them may work for you, or none of them.  I have found that the key to aiding in your own healing is in keeping busy and eliminating the things from your daily world that pull you back into the pain.  Talking always helped me.  If you feel like you don’t have anyone in your life that you feel comfortable talking to about your broken heart I encourage you to check out my resources page.  I personally recommend all of the resources on that page.

There are so many things that might help you on this journey to healing.  You don’t have to follow my road.  Feel free to use the ones you like and ignore the others.  Find what works for you.

Here are just a few more suggestions:

• Do something you have always wanted to do.
• Start a project.  (Anyone want to come train my puppy?  He likes to jump.)
• Learn something new.  (I have always wanted to learn sign language.)
• Take a trip. (I dream of visiting Scotland and Ireland, and the sunflower fields of Italy.)
• If all else fails get lost in your favorite music, movies and books.

The possibilities are endless.  Go ahead and leave any suggestions you have thought of in the comments below.  Maybe your suggestions will be of help to someone else who is on the same journey.

 

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

At some point something is gonna catch your eye.  There will be a glimmer of a thought of a future that you can’t fathom right now.  It will be but a moment, but it will be a sign.  A sign that healing has taken place.  A sign that sometime, maybe sooner than you thought, the idea of a future love won’t seem so daunting, so impossible a prospect.  Don’t be afraid of that moment.  Don’t chase off the thoughts that spring up from there on.  Let that one moment take root.  Let it grow.

My moment happened while I was scrolling through my Pinterest feed.  A ring caught my eye.  It was a sunflower engagement ring.  I love sunflowers!  They are one of my two favorite flowers.  There isn’t even a glimmer of a thought of another man in my head yet, but the ring…  I love that sunflower ring, just not so much as an engagement ring.  I would totally wear it on my other hand though.  It was just a moment.  But a moment that showed proof of healing.

Being in love, married, taking care of someone else, is the deepest desire of my heart. I’ve thought of it for as far back as I can remember.  In the last months I have questioned that desire.  I have questioned the very existence of love and if anyone would ever be able to put up with me long enough to get there.  I had all but decided it was just gonna be me and my boys.  Not everybody gets married right?  I was resigned to the fact that it just isn’t in the cards for me.  I’m just not the marrying kind.  Even typing those words now has the ring of untruth, but that is where I have been for about the last month or so.  Then that ring caught my eye.  I may have even gone on to search for more engagement rings on Pinterest.  Dating still seems a very distant thought, and marriage more distant still, but there is a glimmer of a hope.  I can barely see it, but it’s there.

When that moment pops up and you catch yourself thinking of future possibilities, don’t stifle the thoughts.  Let that dream plant hope in your heart.  Let hope guide you forward.  Dreams are just promises planted in our hearts by God.  Let them grow into everything He holds in store for you.

(For those of you who are curious about the sunflower ring, you can find it on the jewelry board in my Pinterest account.)

 

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

There are two pictures sitting in the windowsill above my kitchen sink.  I often find myself reading them while doing dishes at night.  One says, “Faith is knowing that life can be unpredictable but trusting that it will all work out for good.”  The other bears the poem Footprints, which you can find below.

Footprints

Author Unknown

One night I had a dream.

I was walking along a beach with the Lord, and across the sky flashed scenes from my life.

In each scene, I noticed two sets of footprints, side by side in the sand.

One was mine and one was the Lord’s.

When the last scene of my life appeared before me, I looked back,

and to my surprise, I saw that during the lowest and saddest times of my life,

there was only one set of footprints!

“Lord,” I cried, “you said that once I decided to follow you,

you would walk beside me all the way.

But during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints.

I don’t understand why you left my side when I needed you the most.”

The Lord turned an looked at me,

His eyes filled with love.

“My precious child,” He said,

“I have never left you.

During your times of trial, where you only see one set of footprints,

that was when I was carrying you.”

Have you ever looked at something you see every day but suddenly it takes on a whole new meaning for you?  Those pictures have been sitting in my window for more than a year now.  But this week as I read them again for the thousandth time while doing dishes, the words took on new meaning.  I have been walking through one of those times of trial that God has carried me through.  This season of life is absolutely something I never could have predicted.  When he and I started dating I truly thought we would make it through anything life threw at us.  I really thought our love would stand the test of time.  But here I stand, alone again.  Even in these months of feeling so very alone and bereft, there wasn’t a second that I stood alone really.  God was right here beside me the entire time.  He’s been whispering truth into my heart even as He’s been stitching it back together.  Scripture tells us that God works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).  Not some things.  Not just the things that seem like they will work out for us.  ALL THINGS!  Even knowing that scripture and God’s promise to me through those words, I never thought there was any chance this situation would ever bring anything good my way.  The unbearable pain I’ve been in has drawn me closer to God.  He’s revealed to me a little bit more of the things He has for me.  He’s renewed my hope and strengthened my faith.  He brought me through the valley to stand on the mountaintop beside Him.    The only thing I had to do to get here was listen.

Are you listening for God’s voice in the midst of your pain?  Are you really hearing His whispered promises?  He is standing there right beside you.  All you have to do is let His voice guide you through the wilderness.

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

There is something therapeutic about a group of women gathered around a table.  It doesn’t really matter what they’re doing.  Eating, drinking coffee, crafting, painting, or just talking.  There is something that happens when women gather.

I am not a crafty girl, but when I leave my friend Katie’s house I feel like I am!  Sometime in early summer I got a postcard in the mail from Katie telling about some craft classes she was hosting throughout the summer.  I hung it on the fridge and forgot about it.  A reminder for the first class popped up on Facebook about a month after the breakup.  So I went, just to get out of the house.  And then I went to all the other classes throughout the summer too.

 

I had so much fun at these classes.  Katie calls her company Craft Therapy and that is an apt name for it.  I knew some of the women at these classes from church or from MOPS, others I hadn’t met till then.  These classes took place just a short time after the breakup, so I was still prone to bursting into tears for no apparent reason.  I didn’t phase anyone present at the classes with my tears.  Every woman understands the language of a broken heart.  Whether she’s actually spoken it herself, or has just stood beside a sister who was in pain, every woman understands.  These classes gave me something to look forward to and people to talk to when I needed to talk.  I love the feeling of having created something.  I am proud of all of my summer creations, but my favorites are the bicycle picture and the washi tape composition notebook! I may have a slight washi tape obsession now thanks to these classes!  I have a drawer full of it!  I love washi tape!  If you don’t know what washi tape is you can look it up on pinterest.  There are so many things you can do with washi tape!

 

 

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

“For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.”  –Matthew 25:35

 

At the end of my days this is what I want people to say about me.  This is the kind of person I want to be when I grow up.  I have spent a lot of my time being selfish in these early years.  Truth is I didn’t really realize that I was selfish until fairly recently.  It isn’t an intentional selfishness, but one born out of being to caught up in how everything effects me.  Of not being able to see outside my little corner of the world.  I have seen examples of these kind of people at work in my life.  My ex is one of those people.  I learned from watching him for our short time together just what it looks like to truly love people.  He just loves people.  All people.  That is still one of my favorite things about him.

About a month after the breakup I had the opportunity to help a friend who had fallen off a roof and broken his back.  Let me start by saying that friend is fine, up and walking and everything.  But he needed a good bit of help once he got home from the hospital.  This particular friend isn’t one who likes to ask for help, but thankfully he felt comfortable enough with me to ask for the help he needed anyway.  I didn’t do a whole lot for him, just little things like the dishes and vacuuming.  I learned something from that experience.  It was easier to stop thinking about the great pain I was in during the times I was helping him.  When I was focused on meeting his needs I wasn’t focused on me.  When you are helping someone it makes it easier to step outside of your own situation.  It takes the magnifying glass off of you for awhile.  It was a good thing to be able to step away from all my many feelings and spend some time placing that focus elsewhere.  It’s something I need more of.  It’s in focusing on others that we become more like Christ.

This is my prayer.  Feel free to change it to meet your needs.

Dear Lord,

Thank you for this beautiful life.  For pain that creates growth in me.  For the glimpses of promises that are left just for me to discover.  I thank you for my lasting sense of hope and of the moments of unspeakable joy that you create for me.  I pray that you would strengthen me in the areas where my faith is weak. I ask that you create in me a servant’s heart.  A heart that thinks of others more highly than myself.  Chase out all the selfish ways that dwell within me.  Bind my will to Your will for me.  Let me not take single step that is outside of your will for my life.  I thank you for the promises that your Word affords me and for the purpose you hold for me, now and in the future.  I pray all these things in the precious name of Jesus.

Amen

There are many ways we can be the hands and feet of Jesus.  Reaching out and serving His children.  I urge to listen to the Spirit’s urging and follow His call for your life, for your time.  You just might find a little healing through serving others.

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

Some days feeling like you’re drowning is all consuming, and you just need to feel better right now, if only for a little while.  Sometimes healing is about feeling better right now!  And worrying about tomorrow later.  This might sound cliché, but sometimes the simplest way to make yourself feel better is to simply take care of yourself.  Do something that makes you feel pretty.  Take the time to really concentrate on yourself.  Do what makes you feel better right now.  It’s ok to stop thinking about him for a little while and think about just you.

What is it that makes you feel a little better instantly?

A bubble bath, a shower, shaving your legs, dying your hair, painting your nails, going to a salon, buying a new outfit, getting a mani/pedi, putting on makeup and going out in public, just putting on real clothes, going home putting on comfy pajamas and lighting some candles…. the list could go on and on.

I had a rough afternoon yesterday and I needed a little bit of something to shake me out of my mood.  I headed straight to the bathroom and pulled out the box of hair dye I had been meaning to use for weeks.  The grey was starting to get to me.  I am pretty sure the amount of grey hair on my head has at least doubled since the breakup happened.  So, I dyed my hair, took a shower and shaved my legs.  I put on a face mask when I got out of the shower and painted my toenails in my favorite shade of polish.  Those are all little things, but they made me feel better after a bad afternoon.

Sometimes it’s the little things that work.  The little things may not make much of a difference in the long term, but sometimes it’s about doing what makes you feel better right now so that you can make it to later.  Sometimes it’s about shaking that feeling that you are never to feel any better.  Go ahead, do whatever it is you need to do to relax for a little bit, whatever it is that makes you feel pampered.  Do it!  Let it take you out of the midst of the pain if only for a short time.

 

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

A few months ago I started an exercise program with some friends.  A few times a week I would go to their house and we would do a video together.  It was fun.  But then there was a gas crisis and then I got sick and was in bed for almost a week at the beginning of October.  So our exercise sessions came to a grinding halt.  Those are valid excuses to use not to go to their house and exercise, but they are still excuses.  Because lets face it, the beginning of October was a month ago.  My body has started screaming at me for the lack of exercise again.  My back aches again.  Every morning when I get out of bed I am so very stiff for a good while.  I don’t have an ounce of energy.  All of those things had faded while I was exercising with my friends.  My body is telling me something I knew already, but have been ignoring.  When you exercise you feel better, not only physically but emotionally as well. Exercising produces this exhaustion that makes you feel so much better, lighter somehow, accomplished because you did something for yourself to make yourself better.  Endorphins work!

There are endless possibilities for what you can do to get moving!  Just pick something.   The photo below are some of the things I could think of to get you moving.  My kids love to take the dog for a walk to the mailbox with me.  (My mailbox is a half mile from the house.)  Here is a short squat challenge video that I like to do.  It hurts a bit, but it will have you laughing!  Definitely more fun if you do it with a room full of women!

Exercise isn’t only good for your physical and emotional health, but for your spiritual health as well.

Do you know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God?  You are not your own; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.                  — 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

There it is in black and white.  The Holy Spirit dwells within each of us believers.  We are commanded to be good stewards of the body He gave us.  The body that holds the Spirit that guides us through every step of the day.  He died for us.  I feel like I we can put in the effort it takes to get the body He lives in whipped into shape.

And if you need anymore reason to get moving think about this: There’s a guy out there who isn’t thinking about your broken heart and how he made you feel.  Doesn’t just a little bit of you want to make him think twice when you walk past him feeling better and looking better?  Happiness is the best revenge.  Besides, one day there will be another guy.  Don’t you want to be the best you can be for that guy?  The one God still has for you.

 

So, once the coffee kicks in and I feel a little more awake I am going to do that squat challenge video from above today and I already have a babysitting arrangement worked out with a friend so I can go to a Zumba class every Monday night.  I’m committing to feeling better and taking better care of the temple that holds the Spirit.  Looking better will be an added bonus!  Who’s with me?

 

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

Did you hear that?  Do you need to go back and watch it again?  Go ahead, I’ll wait.

There is a sea of voices competing with each other to drown out the voice of God in your life.  They are trying to derail you.  To distract you from hearing the Shepherd’s voice.  They are all trying to win at telling  you who you are and making you believe it.  Here and now when you are in the midst of pain, they think they have a hold on you.  They think you aren’t strong enough to stand up for yourself.  There is only one way to defeat them, to prove them wrong.  The Shepherd’s voice can and will drown out all the others.  You can stand on who He says you are and defeat all the competing voices, but you must first know the Shepherd’s voice.

I encourage you to dive into God’s Word and spend some time learning who He says you are.  It’s important that you do.  It’s important so that you know the Shepherd’s voice.  So you can recognize it and pick it out over the din of competing voices.  Listen so that He can tell you who you are.  So that you have a firm foundation to fight from when the world is coming at you.  It doesn’t matter who the world says you are when you can come back to the knowledge that YOU ARE HIS!  Who He says you are is the only truth you need.

 

Godspeed,
Mollie <3

Only God can heal a broken heart, but there are things we can do to help foster self healing. This post is part of my series 31 Days of Self Healing. You can find the rest of the posts for this series here.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am joining the party over at the Fresh Market Friday link-up today.  Check it out here.