You know is a rather daunting word to be one so small. One that will plague you with anguish and doubts. If I had done this instead of that would things have turned out differently? If I had told him how I feel sooner would he have stayed? If I had the time back would I do it the same or would I make some changes?
There is always an if looming in the back of my mind, even when things are going well. The proverbial “waiting for the other shoe to drop” as it were. Let me tell you about the if that’s stealing my thoughts right now. If I weren’t able to be with my kids anymore, have I taught them everything they need to get by without me? It is a very real if for me because I find myself in the middle of a custody battle that leaves me seeing my small ones only every other weekend for now. So, I sit and I think about the things I want them to really know. And I wonder, have I taught them these things well?
Have I taught them….
To always pray first and talk later?
To be loyal?
To be honest?
To be men of integrity?
To be kind, even when people aren’t kind to them?
Have I taught them that love is the most important thing and to do everything out of great love?
Have I taught them to stand up for themselves and for those who are weaker than they are?
They are only 8 and 10 and to be honest I struggle with some of these things in my day to day life. So, these have been lessons that have maybe not been modeled so well for them to this point, but instead of dwelling on my failings as a parent I am taking my if and turning it into an action plan. I took and I wrote down these things I want them to carry through life and I promise myself not to waste the little bit of time we have together.
What is your if and how are you going to put some action behind it?
This post is part of the Five Minute Friday link-up. FMF is where bloggers gather together to form a writing flash mob where we all write on a one word prompt for 5 minutes with no editing! Sound like fun? You can learn more and/or join this week’s link-up here!